The other day I had learned that my best friend from college Stephanie Chaipis passed away tragically. I am still processing it. It doesn't feel real. I met Stephanie in Bergen Community College in 2008. I was 3 years older than her.
We were both new at BCC in the fall of 2008. Some of my high school friends were attending BCC but Stephanie was the first new person I had met. I was in the lobby area waiting for my next class. We were both on our phones when she said to me with a smile on her face ''do you have service? I said ''no I don't either'' and that question started a conversation that turned into a friendship that made us inseparable. Stephanie started college at the age of 15. She was very intelligent and got transferred from her high school early on. A lot of people would ask me and say ''your 18! what are you doing with a 15 year old?’’ but Stephanie was so much more beyond her years. She was kind, she was fun, and she had a good heart. She never had a bad thing to say about anyone. Through those early college years Stephanie spent a lot of time at my house, we had countless sleepover's. Our nickname for each other was ''Smores'' because I was brunette with brown eyes and she was blonde with beautiful big blue eyes. We would stay up late and watch a show called ''The X effect'' till 2AM in my basement and record ourselves making funny music videos. Our favorite song to jam to was ''Right round'' by Flo Rida and Kesha. We would play that song a 100 times when Stephanie first got her car. Life was simple. We just had fun.
Stephanie's parents passed away when she was a little girl. She lived with her Grandpa who was a math professor at BCC. We often would come to her Grandpa's office to do homework and hang out. I remember the very last time I saw her in that office, she had told me about a new guy she was dating. This is where the story turns. Shortly after seeing her that last time Stephanie had began a family of her own at a very young age, meanwhile I was living my 20's traveling and working. We would speak every so often but not like we use to since she had relocated to California and then eventually to Washington. I look back and find it so sad considering how close we were. She one time told me she lost her phone and to call her boyfriend to get a hold of her. I didn’t think anything of it, but nor did it make me want to reach out to her. The very last time I spoke to her was a few months before she passed. She had complimented me on starting a blog and told me she would like to start one on motherhood and asked me for some tips. Stephanie was a great writer and great at math, I mean, she did get into college at the age of 15. Little did we know that this blog would have an article about her. That conversation ended with me carelessly forgetting to respond to her last message. I wish I had responded to her and continued that conversation, maybe I could have been there to support her in what she was going through.
Stephanie had passed away a year ago right before her 28th birthday and I had no idea. I had no mutual friends or family that I spoke too and her facebook was never too active. Little did I know she was in an abusive relationship with that same man she told me about all these years. I had found out what happened to her when I came across a comment that said ''Happy Birthday in heaven Stephanie'' ''Your children are missing you''. I was shocked, numb, in disbelief that something horrible had happened to her. After speaking to some of Stephanie's relatives and reading news articles I discovered that her death was a homicide committed by her husband of 10 years with her children present in the home. She was 8 weeks pregnant...
One of the top 5 regrets from the dying according to (Bonnie Ware) who worked as a nurse for patients in the final weeks of their lives said '' I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends'' It doesn't take a lot to check in on someone. Text a friend right now and see how they are doing. It may put a smile on their face.
The details of Stephanie's passing is an all around tragedy. I pray she is at peace with her parents knowing her children are well taken care of. I have so many memories of her that I will remember forever. I will always remember her laugh and funny sense of humor. Our friendship may not be in the original form that it once was before but it still exists and I know I will see her again. Stephanie used to say this phrase to me often'' I'll catch ya on the flip side'' and it just sounds so bittersweet to me now.
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